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#105 - Let Them Drive Cake

SomethingWonky explores a tough week for the government, as their friends turn on them


  1. Liberals Are Doing It To Themselves
  2. Backdowns
  3. Things you’d think should be backdowns, but aren’t yet


  1. More revelations regarding children on Nauru: Save The Children lists “systemic violation” of children’s rights (DISTURBING LIST ON LINK - INCLUDING CASE STUDIES)
  2. 190 Experts Issue Collective Statement Accusing Australia of ‘Inhumane’ Treatment of Asylum Seekers


  1. The far right tries something completely insane with s18C: suing Mike Carlton for racial vilification, which will totally not demonstrate that fair comment is different from bullshit inaccuracies like the column Bolt (who is cheering this prosecution on) got in trouble for.
  2. After The Australian’s “fuckoffgate” campaign of last week against Mike Carlton, it was kind of weird for Noel Pearson, long-standing columnist for The Oz, at that Garma festival where if you recall from last week an ALP MP was “prejudiced” against The Australian, to publicly and repeatedly this week tell a cabinet minister to “fuck off”
  3. DT resident toddler Tim Blair launches campaign against Carlton’s replacement John Birmingham for swearing - as if there aren’t emails out there of Blair telling readers to “fuck off”.
  4. Chris Kenny rants in The Australian about Twitter being one-sided
  5. Fairfax, still cutting staff, pays four executives an additional $2.4m

Download "Let them drive cake"


#104 - Just Stop Talking

This week on SomethingWonky, we track where you’ve been on the internet, demand you explain where you’ve been overseas, and disappoint Andrew Bolt. But we phone him first because we wouldn’t want him to think we’re not mates.


  1. Govt cancelling a stupid vandal decision

  2. Stupid Vandal Decisions

  3. Australians overseas

  4. Let them eat Brioche

  5. Dumb comment central


  1. Chief immigration psychiatrist, Dr Peter Young, whose voice we heard last week, explains that Australia is deliberately inflicting harm on vulnerable people, creating “an environment that is inherently toxic and has characteristics which over time reliably cause harm to people’s mental health”. He says the system is deliberately harsh, breaks people’s health, costs a fortune, compromises the ethics of doctors and is intended to place asylum seekers under “strong coercive pressure” to abandon plans to live in Australia. “Suffering is the way that is achieved.” Scott Morrison asks us to wait for more evidence
  2. Scott Morrison pretends that the Sri Lankan asylum seekers have given something up by not going back to India; Indian High Commisison points out that they never agreed to accept non-citizen Tamil asylum seekesr anyway
  3. UN slams Sri Lanka over its treatment of asylum seekers, deporting Afghan and Pakistani refugees without processing their applications.
  4. Scott Morrison’s $330,000 media briefing room (with $800 doorknob) has never been used.
  5. Gay asylum seeker here for AIDS conference terrified of going back to his country after they looted his shop, bashed him, and threatened to throw acid at him. Still not enough to hvae any confidence we’d help him.
  6. National Council of Churches points out that offshore detention costs $3,744 per person per day while a Letitia McQuade argues that there’s an even more crippling cost - to our humanity. And others are applying pressure on christians to speak up against deliberately harming children for any reason
  7. Law Report story on treatment of refugees in Indonesia explores our cunning scheme to totally break refugees before they come here.
  8. New challenge: how long can you defend the Abbott govt approach to refugees without saying something racist?


  1. A cowering Fairfax pressures Mike Carlton to resign for calling some critics in personal correspondence “bigots” and, worst of all, “Likudists”. Idiots like The Oz and Blot publish a list of these responses, but without the original no-doubt inoffensive contributions to which he was responding (“I’ve been called a bag of Nazi slime, a Jew-hating racist”). Blot calls him a “wuss” for resigning, because he doesn’t have the courage to sulk for a few days before slinking back.
  2. A Tale of Two Cartoons. Fairfax publishes a cartoon showing an old Israeli man (shown with big nose and cap) pressing a button on his remote control to make Gaza explode. Australian Jewish News demands a boycot. SMH backs down and apologises for the big nose thing. Meanwhile the Oz, which has enthusiastically decried its competitor, publishes a nasty cartoon by the increasingly deranged Bill Leak suggesting murdered Palestinian children are a deliberate PR stunt by Hamas.
  3. The Age covers HRC President Gillian Triggs as if it’s the 1960s.
  4. Librarian who allegedly leaked details of corrupt scholarship for PM’s daughter charged by police. The Oz desperately hopes New Matilda gets punished for the journalism it’s too corrupt to do. Also Oz even unable to do proper journalism when preparing their attack on proper journalists. (Chris Graham points out how absurd their going after Wendy Bacon is). New Matilda calls bullshit in their claims, Oz just excited to be talking about itself again. Blot calls hypocrite first, suggesting it’s the same as hacking the phones of murdered schoolgirls.
  5. Criticising The Australian is really criticising indigenous people
  6. Daily Teleraph mystifyingly recovers trust of its readers, so now it’s just distrusted by one in two of them, the least trusted media outlet in the country. Begging the question: what do Daily Telegraph employees tell their children they do for a living to hide the shame? Parking inspector? Puppy strangler?

Download "Just Stop Talking"


#103 - Jeremy's Twitter feed

This week Something Wonky wonders if there is anywhere Australia won’t go when it comes to anti-asylum seeker cruelty. We revisit the exciting new regime for job seekers and pretend to have read Joe Hockey’s Biography.


  1. On the eve of the National Inquiry into children in immigration detention Scott Morrison launches a broadside into the Human Rights Commission president Gilliant Triggs
  2. Then the next day the Inquiry hears evidence that the Department told the health service provider to “withdraw” figures regarding the significant health problems.
  3. Meanwhile they heard evidence of abuses against the children - including creepy sexual advances of staff towards captive children.
  4. Just moments before the High Court would have had to make a decision about the refoulement of the 157 Sri Lankans we were keeping cruelly in the middle of the ocean… suddenly the government decides to process them on Australian soil. Seems humiliating, and dodgy - resentfully copping a backdown in order to avoid the court setting a precedent against your conduct. Fortunately the Oz was able to make it sound much nicer - a “deal” he’s “negotiated” with India.
  5. Government blocks Senator Hanson-Young from visiting the Tamil asylum seekers at Curtin “based on the interests of the good management and safety of the centre”.
  6. Australia redefining refugees’ birthdays so it can treat them as adults.


  1. Time for the SomethingWonky Job Applicator 2014 (TM)
  2. People Being Mean To Joe
  3. More assaults on the vulnerable
  4. More stupid decisions by the vandals in power
  5. What is Tony doing?
  6. Trials of the Left


  1. The Daily Telegraph on Sunday celebrates assaults in NSW prisons.
  2. Press Council’s new rules demand that reasonable steps are taken to ensure factual material is accurate and not misleading even elsewhere than actual reports. Uh oh, says News Corp.
  3. Oz Editorial Corner

Download "Jeremy's Twitter feed"


#102 - White Ribbon Night In

Episode 102

Dave discusses issues relating to domestic violence with informed commentators; Jeremy collates a series of absurd stories from the week in politics for the other sort of SomethingWonky treatment


  • Commentary by

    • Jane Gilmore - silence is acquienscence
    • “Why don’t they leave?” - A victim of domestic violence shares her story.
  • Interviews with

    • Kate Doak - DV issues affecting trans people
    • Kimberley Ramplin - What the stats hide, the “One in Three” lunacy, “Not all men” cranks


  1. Wacky Politicians Corner
  2. MH17 gives Abbott an opportunity to look Prime Ministerial while standing up for the controversial position that shooting down airliners is bad. Meanwhile Julie Bishop attacks Labor for fighting for the UNSC seat which has ironically let her and Tony be heard. Elsewhere, rest of world damns Australia for repealing the carbon price
  3. Tony’s Mates
  4. UnAustralian News: state governments around the country refuse to grant a public holiday for ANZAC day next year.
  5. ACT Greens Minister to put legalising medical marijuana as a private member’s bill
  6. Labor wins 18.6% swing in by-election in state seat in Brisbane.. The Oz retorts that Newman has a great story to tell.
  7. Victorian Equal Opportunity and Human Rights Commission releases report into treatment of disabled which reveals they are routinely ignored by police and an endemic of abuse in institutions. Hideous examples on the link.
  8. When she worked for the HSU Kathy Jackson diddled research scientists at Peter Mac cancer institute out of millions in back pay and used the payout from the hospital on herself
  9. Other Commentary from the week


  1. They’re Still On The Damn Boat
  2. Good news: Morrison backs down on “national interest test” in case of refugee boy who has now been granted a permanent protection visa.
  3. Australian human rights commission team visited Christmas Island last week, reports:

    The situation on the island had “significantly deteriorated” since a meeting between detainees and immigration staff a week earlier, when many asked to be moved to the mainland for the sake of their children. The commission inspectors verified that 10 women were placed on 24-hour watch for self-harm and suicide and a total of 13 were considered high risk…. Gillian Triggs: “They are plagued by despair and helplessness at the seemingly endless period of detention. While I am encouraged that the department intends to set up a school for children, for the past year, children have had no education or structured physical activity.”

  4. PNG preventing witnesses to Reza Berati’s death from leaving manus island, even to return home

Download "White Ribbon Night In"


101 - Axe the tax ... staff.

This week’s episode contains some static in Dave’s audio, we’ll try to have the problem fixed before next week.

This week everyone gets a massive gets a massive cut to their power bill that you can bank on totally check your next one, Joe’s making threats, Clive’s giving himself tax cuts, Tony’s stamping his feet, the ATO’s losing its ability to chase tax cheats, Thorpey’s under attack, and most importantly the Australian newspaper is fifty years old everybody party THE FOCUS GROUP

  1. The Carbon Price is No More!
  2. But the Budget!
  3. But the Economy!
  4. Other Libs having a bad week.
  5. Civil Liberties Corner
    • Plenty of sanctimonious criticism of Ian Thorpe for not coming out sooner, by ppl who can’t imagine just what coming out would be like, and who think apparently gay ppl are no longer discriminated against (except, you know, in the law). And more generally.
    • The Australian “Christian” Lobby is appalled by news support for marriage equality is now at 72% - goes the full unhinging in its media release, asking if poll respondents were asked “if they are comfortable with children being taken from their biological mother or father” or, even more ironically given their advocacy for Christian employers being allowed to sack gay people, “Are Australians happy for fellow citizens who believe in man-woman marriage to be sued in the courts or driven from their jobs because of their beliefs?” Also some classic lying for Jesus, as they claim they supported Labor’s 2008 removal of much discrimination against gay ppl in federal law. (They didn’t.)
    • Tim Wilson, our $300+k a year “Human rights” commissioner, defends Wicked Campers’ misogynist slogans - all you have to do is not hire one, he suggests. (Missing point that the only way to be safe from the messages is to be inside said vans and never come out.)
    • Victorian AG Robert Clark and Federal Social Services Minister Kevin Andrews to speak at and support far-right US-based anti-gay anti-abortion conference in Melbourne, along with the loonies from Danny Nalliar’s Rise Up “demons are real” party.
  6. The Crime Beat
    • Media shower themselves in glory going absolutely bananas over the Baden-Clay trial verdict. Channel Nine has “live” crosses to the courthouse for hours after everyone’s gone home.
    • Might be time for a review of the IVO/AVO systems so protected people are advised when there’s new threatening behaviour - which didn’t happen for Luke Batty’s mum


  1. Australia holding asylum seekers at sea in windowless locked rooms, twirling moustache.
  2. Oz claims refugee advocates are encouraging refugees to self-harm; Miranda Devine declares “Someone in authority has to stop these so-called “well-meaning” advocates. They are hurting the very people they feign to protect.”
  3. The deliberate fudging of responsibility and accountability continues as OSB commander Angus Campbell cannot answer basic questions to Senators like whether customs vessels have adequate provisions for children or what their capacity, communications capabilities and supplies were.
  4. Also Australia won’t tell the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights what is happening to the Tamils on that boat on laughable grounds that “all these matters are currently before the High Court of Australia… the Australian Government will provide a full response once they are resolved.” That’s right, human rights lawyers, it’s your own fault for not leaving well enough alone and letting the government send the second lot back to Sri Lanka. (Oz publishes govt’s claim as fact that it was “never going to”, which is totally credible.)
  5. Scott Morrison spends some quality time with his new best friends, Sri Lankan president Mahinda Rajapaksa and his brother, defence minister Gotabaya Rajapaksa, and what does it matter what they did in the civil war.
  6. Tad Tieze in New Matilda questions the accepted wisdom that being cruel to refugees is actually a vote-winning vote-changer, also pointing out that Labor’s most popular period in recent memory coincided with its least cruel policy on the subject.
  7. The ABC digs up an old “white Australia” boardgame from 1914 about replacing “coloured”s with white people, back when we were, you know, a bit of a racist country, back then, so long ago, unlike now.


  1. George Brandis presents bill to parliament to jail for 5-10 years journalists who disclose Snowden-like revelations. SomethingWonky waits with breathless anticipation for the Oz, the IPA, and Tim Wilson to come thundering in to support press freedom. Any… Minute… Now.
  2. The Oz turns 50 and the great and powerful turn up to celebrate with our political leaders. Tony Abbott calls the Oz Rupert’s “gift to the nation”. Tony Windsor (not present) compares it on twitter with another Australian product celebrating a birthday: Sorbent. Others are less kind (but much closer the mark)
  3. What is with The Australian and its weird obsession with calling everything an “exclusive”?
  4. Rupert speaks through his minions about how the NBN is a shit idea and that’s totally not through self-interest, and there’s too much welfare.
  5. does a little award ceremony for who covered Palmer’s antics the best and discovers that its own papers are the best after all
  6. There will be consequences as the ABC declines Janet’s hard-hitting interview series with John Howard (Also Chris Kenny’s buddy-cop drama with Phillip Ruddock and Ray Hadley’s fantasy epic with Scott Morrison)

Download "Axe the tax ... staff.